Category: Personal history
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The worst holiday
Mike Smith and Sarah Green were asked what they had said in the seconds when they thought they might be about to die. Mike Smith replied that he had said “I love you,” I’m afraid I doubt that. I’ve tested it under laboratory conditions.
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The Image Comes In
Debbie removed her glasses, and I had a clearer view of her face. Kind, open, humorous, gentle, soft. Beautiful.
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Going deaf slowly
How much of the rest of my life would I spend allowing my vanity to ruin conversations with loved ones, when help might be at hand?
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“the Morbids”
When I was seven I woke up one winter’s night in tears because we weren’t on a camping holiday.
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The umbrella
It seemed Deloitte Haskins + Sells could no longer overlook my technical differences with, er, the examiners…
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Devinylisation
They were now tainted with a vague guilt, like distant elderly relatives I didn’t visit very often…
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Betty’s last wiggle
“Nothing bad will happen to me, she seemed to be saying, now that Mum and Dad are here.” Warning: concerns the death of a dog.
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Votes for Members
Imagine what the press would make of such behaviour in a trade union strike ballot.
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The worst thing about Debbie
Now I’m not comparing this to the Dreyfus affair or the Birmingham Six, but I do think…
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Medal Going Home
…I was left with the impression that the government had regarded the recipients not as individuals but as a homogeneous, expendable mass.
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Forgotten Moments in Music History
If I had a pound for every time someone asked me how this cartoon series got started, I’d have, um, about six pounds.
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Cecil Parkinson, Ken Livingstone, music and me
I don’t think I was aware of these political heavyweights being on the same bill that term, and just as well: I was nervous enough already.
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The University Challenge Challenge
It’s nice to know that occasionally you can make a tiny, tiny difference.
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The Gem of Tanzania
In December 2009 I sat in the Birmingham office of an accountancy firm, turning in my hands a gemstone which had been valued at eleven million pounds. I had the chance to buy it. How much should I bid?
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Trying not to Work
Rather than simply juggling the letters on paper, was there a systematic way to solve anagrams?
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1996 and 1997: How Merrill Lynch ruined them
Merrill Lynch, the “thundering herd”, had turned its mighty power on to my cosy little domain…
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Father to the man
No doubt I should have been learning more (or at least something) about the Phoenix Park murders, or rereading the turgid pages of Le Baiser au lépreux.
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O jabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
…as we stepped outside and felt a little warmth in the late February sun, it certainly started to feel like spring.
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Smokey’s 49-year vacation
I was prepared to leave it at that, and leave a bit of mystery in his life.
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Llanuwchllyn
“Three of those people are your relatives”. That should have surprised me, but it didn’t. After all, this was Llanuwchllyn.
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The Copper Bowl
He soon came back with a Swiss 50 franc note, with about a quarter missing. “You’re welcome to this if you can use it.’
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My Short but Glorious Rugby Career
…had I stayed the course, Dad would have loved to give me that shirt.
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Odontophobia
…I put this down to a generation of dentists who seemed to come from a military background, recruited in the days when physical strength was required for the job.
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The bubble car picture
And now, perhaps fifty years later, I was looking once more upon the bubble-car picture.
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The Laboratory in Chestnut Avenue
I learned, perhaps, that the smartest business plan will fail if it upsets customers.
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Taid
Taid seems to have preferred the schoolroom to the farm, and perhaps the effort he made to learn English as a child led his part of the family away from the land and into more comfortable (if less beautiful) workplaces.
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Nain
I am lucky to remember all four of our grandparents, although Nain – Maggie as she was known – is the one I remember least well, as she died when I was seven.
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king commode and his expanding rubber band, Watford Grammar School for Boys – 1st April 1969
I had no yardstick by which to measure the quality of the live music I heard that night, fifty years ago. But to my impressionable young ears, it was the best thing, ever. Thank you guys.
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A brush with greatness
Some say you should never meet your heroes. Nonsense. I feel so privileged to have had the opportunity.
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Fall of the House of
I was shown into a meeting room with wood panelling and oil-painted landscapes: an unconvincing attempt to recreate an English country house interior in the docklands clouds.
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Gan-gan
When as teenagers we heard of this affair, my brother and I liked to think of Davy as some sort of brute, and of Jack as the handsome knight rescuing her from his clutches.
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Pulled Pork Baguette with a Side of Grief
I floundered at the enormity and horror of what she had just told me, and feebly attempted a few words of sympathy.
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The GRILL PAN HANDLE
…one day we noticed an article headed The Ten Biggest Causes of Marital Rows. Grill Pan Handles was right there at number three after money and sex, just before housework.
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The Ticket Drawer
Should she have died with no tickets in the drawer, no holidays to look forward to, no plans?
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Silly Mid-Off
WBGS u12s fifth wicket down. Time to pad up. Sit down, standing up shows a lack of confidence in the boys at the crease. Waiting. McKenzie and Wright are doing OK. I bat at number eight and I don’t bowl, so I don’t know how I got in the team.…
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The Restless Miller
I stared in disbelief and fear for some time, before I finally switched on my bedside light. There was nothing there…
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The Fisherman’s Girl
She said nothing and looked at the milk bottle. Then gave a little shrug of acceptance, but seemed subdued while she ate her cereal. Warning: Suicide theme
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Barry Humphries gets rid of Rik Edwards
At this, Humphries returned to his list to add a few more words, and presented the list to Edwards with an air of finality.
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For Dad
…maybe, underneath it all, I wanted our children to have just as happy a childhood as Rob and I did.
Ramblings 