Ramblings

It started less than two weeks ago. As a 70th birthday present, Alice gave me a copy of The Beano dated 4th August, 1956 – the week of my birth.

“Every Thursday”, it said on the cover. I know, I hear you, 4th August 1956 was a Saturday. Well, D.C. Thomson & Co. Ltd. work in mysterious ways.

It was thoughtful and fun present, although it stirred no particular memories in me. Precocious as I was, I didn’t progress to reading The Beano in the first week of my life. But, I realised, there was a particular copy of The Beano which I very much did want to own.

Deep breath, here goes. The family in which I grew up had a private world which we called Muggishness, which Rob and I invented in our childhood. Muggishness defies simple definition, but involved a certain good-humoured silliness. This concept predated the Muppets by more than a decade, but Kermit is the closest embodiment of the idea, both vocally and in behaviour. The rituals and language of Muggishness have evolved and survived for over sixty years, and we have successfully embedded them in the younger generation, who, by and large, get it. Or at least, go along with it.

This mystical cult was born on the Motorail service from London to Fishguard, on our way to a camping holiday in Ireland during the summer holidays. Rob and I were reading The Beano, where the Three Bears story included a character who said “Mug? Pa Bear’s a mug!”

I was unfamiliar with the use of mug to describe a gullible person, but we liked the sound of it very much. “Mug? Pa Dad’s a mug!” we declared. We added a ‘g’ and the mythology grew. Dad was appointed Mainmugg, and he willingly embraced the silliness.

So Alice had given me something more precious even than a vintage Beano. She had inspired a Quest! To track down and perhaps acquire that most sacred artefact of the Muggish world, the precious issue which started the whole cult.

Some details had faded from my memory. Which year was it? Some time in the mid 1960s – I was still at primary school, so no later than 1967. I also remembered listening to the World Cup Final in a car parked by a rainy beach during a camping holiday in Pembrokeshire. It was very unlikely that Mum would have tolerated two camping trips in one summer, so probably not 1966.

Which issue I was looking for? Specifically:

• it was published in the school holidays (July/August) 
• possibly therefore a holiday special 
• from 1964/65/66/67
• it featured a Three Bears story including the line “Mug? Pa Bear’s a mug!”

My first port of call was an online vintage comic store. With that information, might they be able to identify and perhaps sell me what I sought? Their reply was prompt but not immediately helpful: as all their stock was kept in sealed bags, it would not be worth their time or the risk of damage to open them to search for a particular story, when they might not anyway have the issue I wanted. But they did make a few helpful suggestions. Perhaps try the D.C. Thomson archives, the British Library or the Comics UK website at https://www.comicsuk.co.uk/

So this was not going to be easy. A deliciously long, pointless and difficult Quest beckoned. Just my thing. Imagine a geriatric figure with thick spiky white hair and a threadbare red-and-black hooped jumper peering at the Yellow Pages, an old rotary phone at his ear.

“Yes, March 23rd, 1968…yes, I know it was a Saturday…that’s right, the one with the Castor Oil gag on the back…you do? Oh that’s wonderful! Can you keep it for me? My name? Oh, yes, it’s Menace, D.T. Menace.”

And the British Library! I pictured a dusty old room filled with ancient tomes, where, surrounded by quietly coughing bewhiskered old professors researching arcane historical documents, I solemnly inspect a huge pile of vintage Beanos.

I tried the D.C. Thomson archives first. Their website was discouraging:

“Our external enquiry service is currently closed due to ongoing projects and will not reopen until January 2027.”

I wasn’t too bothered. They’re a notoriously tight-fisted bunch, and it would probably have cost me £50 to make an enquiry which would likely come to nothing. But I put a note in my calendar to check back next year. I bet it still won’t be open.

So, on to the British Library. You can register as a Reader for free, but this can only be done in person, entailing a trip into London during a heatwave. Before going to this trouble, it made sense to have a peek at what I might find in their mighty archive. It shocked and disturbed me.

See that? Nothing at all from my target years, and with a mere three years from the 1970s represented, probably thinly. This is our national library, for heaven’s sake. I bet they religiously store every copy of that beastly Daily Telegraph. But look at their half-assed excuse for a Beano archive! What a gaping hole in our national record. Nevertheless, I planned a trip into town some time in the future to see how this process would work in practice, in the hope that they had squirrelled away more Beanos than they were letting on.

But there were other options before I needed to trouble the Metropolitan Line. Next the Comics UK website. The site didn’t inspire confidence: it looked like it had been built about 1998. But it did seem to be populated by the sort of people – well, blokes – who might be able to help. I posted my question, and in the first week received an impressive 52 views. Unfortunately, though, no responses. Ho hum, perhaps it’s a slow burn.

One last avenue to try before registering at the British Library: I found an active group on Facebook called The Beano Collectors Society, and posted a request for an expert Beanologist to pay a quick visit to his Beanorium to help me identify which issue I was looking for. Within two days I had a reply from a smashing fellow called Stuart.

“I’m very pleased to tell you that it’s Beano issue 1204, dated 14th August 1965.”

Stuart backed up this statement with photos showing the front cover of this issue, and the hallowed Three Bears story. Wow, thank you Stuart. Boom! The line, spoken by a character called Hank, is actually “Mugs? Mugs? Pa Bear’s a mug!” OK, not exactly as I had remembered it, but close enough. Hey, give me a break, this was over sixty years ago.

Half way there. I knew what I wanted. Stuart, I don’t suppose you’d consider selling it? Unfortunately not, he had a full set, and wasn’t about to break it up. Perhaps he would consider a bequest to the British Library. They might name a new wing after him. Stuart very helpfully pointed me to the item on eBay with a buy-it-now price of £14.99. Reader, I snapped it up.

It arrived within two days, as described and perfectly wrapped, from The Comic Collector UK. Victory! It went straight into the Holy of Holies high security vault. But my joy was mingled with some regret that the Quest was over so soon. That was supposed to keep me busy all winter. Curse you internet with your laser focus, curse you Facebook with your highly specialised interest groups with friendly, knowledgeable and helpful members.

But I did wonder about its price performance over the past 61 years. If we allow £1.99 for postage and packing, I paid £13. Let’s see how it has performed against other goods and investments since 1965.

ITEM	Price in August 1965	Price/Value in August 2026	Multiple of increase
4 pints of milk	3s2d	£1.75	11.05
1 pint of milk	9 1/2d	85p	21.47
UK Inflation	£100	£2,513	25.13
Mars Bar	6d (60 grams)	70p (40 grams	42
4-bedroom house	£6,000	£450,000	75
First class stamp	4d	£1.80	108
Current Beano	3d	£3.75	300
Investment on London Stock Market	£100	£56,000	560
Beano No. 1204	3d	£13	1040

So, should the Investors’ Chronicle have been recommending that their readers stash away Beanos instead of stocks and shares in 1965? Not so fast. To capture that huge uplift you would need to store them for 61 years, set up an online shop, and then wait years for a mug to come along and pay your asking price. In this case, also a Mugg.